জলহীন

জীবন যখন মরুভূমি
আকাশ মানে প্রতাপশালী নিষ্ঠুর এক সূর্য
এ শরীর এ মন মিশে গেছে কবে নিদ্রাহীন বালির বুকে
শুধু রেখে গেছে হাড়গোড়
মগজ মাংস মজ্জা নেই
কঙ্কাল একা পড়ে থাকে
এ কী ভীষণ সত্য
জল নেই জল নেই
বৃষ্টি আসবে না কোনোদিনও
তবু হীরা জহরত চুনি পান্না সোনাদানার ধুলোর নিচে
ব্যাকুল হয় কৃষাণীর হৃদয়
আর ঝড় ওঠে বহুকালের পুরোনো
রেশমের পথ ধরে
চকচকে বালিকণারাও জানে
সব মরে গেছে
সব মরে যায়
অপূর্ব মিথ্যাকে ভালবেসে
যখন নেচে ওঠে বুক পেট নিতম্ব
তখনও তারা জানে
ভীষণ সত্য হল
জল নেই জল নেই
বৃষ্টি আসবে না কোনোদিনও

Kiss the Rain

Sometimes when it rains deep inside me

I dont wanna touch da rain but

I kiss each raindrop by my soul for sure

They bring me colors

They bring me memories

They bring me shower of love

I kiss da truth of life

Dat draggs me to a beginning of a road unknown ever

Mysterious to it's end

Heals my wounds like miracle

Wet n cold

So I kiss each raindrop by my soul for sure

Dynamics

These empathized notes I play
N these innocent notes I play with
Have a reason honey
The distances in between their frequencies
Stand for a reason
The cleverly notes I choose
The cycle they r destined to follow
The melody lines u recognize
The harmonies n their selflessness
Tones n styles n distributions I draw even carelessly
Every thing has a reason
I don't live blind babe
I love for a reason

Dreams in Sajek Valley

It was all in my dream
I put myself on the fine line in between
Watching the rainbow cottages with foggy eyes
This valley takes away thousand souls
I knew it all
These mountains feed millions with tears n sweat
The sky was not so high
So I smelt the sky in between
There was a fine line in between heaven n hell
U were over there burning n blind
All u needed was a scream my love
This valley could absorb n response to it indeed

I was wandering through n through
May be hundred shades of greens
Even more shades of blues n grays
We went up there with sticks in our grip
We believed in our little steps for a while
N we went to it's top
Hundred of peers
I brushed my eyes over their faces
They had faces conscious n amazed
When the night came we met fireflies
There was magical orchestra of insects
People started counting star shootings after while
N melted themselves with illusions

U could embrace the flair of this enormous nature my friend
But u traded ur soul for poison n let it flow through ur vains
N let it come out through ur eyes n mouth
U were on the other side
Dead albatrosses around ur neck
In ur lovely place of hotel California still
U could hv a shower in this valley my love
U could embrace love of Sajek forever
There was only a fine line  in between
Sajek, my dream, offered heaven to all of us

As I saw in my dream I was walking
Alone scattered blue
But I choose to stay calm
I struggled with all my conflicts
I searched peace
I learnt to let go like always
N I found heaven in this valley

I will come again to see u my heaven
I left my soul here
I traded my soul for beautiful dreams my love
These generous mountains
These mysterious skies
These playful clouds
These roads full of danger
I trust u in my core, Sajek my dream,
So I painted u in my eyes forever
I planted ur dream in my conciousness forever
I belonged ur calmness in my brain forever
N I mounted my existence like Buddha in ur core forever my love

সম্ভাষণ

খুব তুচ্ছ কিছুর জন্যই বেঁচে থাকি হয়তো

এখানে
ছোট্ট বারান্দার বেকায়দায়
তবুও ফোটে ছোট ছোট ফুলেরা
চারাগাছ মুখ তোলে এখানে ওখানে
পোকারা আসে
পাখিরাও আসে
এত বাধা তবু গড়ে ওঠে জীবনচক্র

খুব তুচ্ছ কোনো কারণে মরে যেতে ইচ্ছে করে

তোমার চোখ, শরীরের ভাষা
আমাকে করে তোলে বেমানান
আমি চেয়ে দেখি তোমার পথ
আমিও হেঁটে চলে যাই

আমাকে যেতে হবে বহুদূর
একাই
অভিমান করে নয়
আমি চলে যেতে চাই
তোমার মুখেরই এক আলোর টুকরো নিয়ে
এই হৃদয়অঙ্গারে

খুব তুচ্ছ কিছুর জন্যই যেতে হবে বহুদূর

Beyond this Human Life

Take it all off
Come alive n open ur mind
I need u to listen to me carefully
Before I die
I m a human
With
skin n bones
Flashes n blood
Organs
Hormones
Desires
Money
I feel hungry too
I feel sad happy angry joyful disappointed blank many more
I travel through the time in my brain
I know all of these are physiological
I can remember
I looked at ur eyes
I heard ur words
I felt love
I was winged with ur verses
I felt beautiful
Again
I can remember
I looked at ur eyes
I heard ur tones
I felt small
I struggled with ur silences
I felt unwanted
Nevertheless
I watched u from a distance
Distance of thousand miles
A mountain of millions of small things in between
But I watched u through n through
I lived my life this side
A human life desired ever
Skin n bones
Flashes n blood
Organs
Hormones
Desires
Money
Listen to me carefully
Before I die
May be we r not gonna meet on the other side
Coz I don't wanna hv a human life again
It was a treasure meeting u here
I learnt to love
I learnt to be alone
It squized me to the end but
It was wonderful
U don't need to say anything or to hold my hand
Now u can go
I know u hv work to do mission to accomplish
I will not be watching u anymore
My soul will not chase after any human ever
I wish to become a grass plant or a bird or an ant whatever but human
My life will be allured with the nature only
I wanna grow within the core of this Earth
My life will be rythmed with its wind n water
The sunlight will make me feel beautiful
May be I will live for a while
I will die again
N I will born immensely to enormous deaths
But my life will be valorous n boundless
I don't want a human life ever again
Skin n bones
Flashes n blood
Organs
Hormones

Desires
Money
I don't need these.

Awkward Rain

Look out
Look over
I m sitting lousy
Watching comedies
Unable to take my butt off
N wander
How could it be raining like this
Raining all day long
I m sitting cowardly
Watching it's raining
Feeling my couch wet all over
N wet all over inside me
N wonder
Rain brings u back
Here
While
I m sitting awfully quiet
I have to get up
Burn 600cals
Play on guitar
Plan future
Work on it
Have butterfly tattoo on my waist
Put on masckara
Look cool
N now
How could it be raining like this
Leaning me backward
I scare to love this rain
I m afraid
Rain brings u back

Welcome to the Emptyness

In this darkness
People may travel through time
Meaningless pain they could feel
They may argue from the beginning to the endless end
They may imagine some four dimensional figures
That they will never be able to figure out
There is no corner no edge
They may stroll over and over in this cage
They will greet themselves
"Welcome to the emptyness"

https://youtu.be/SY1V0Y7hscw

Mess

Babe I stay high
But
Every time this is the rule
U slow down
U ditch
U r never the one who slips
Every time this is the rule
I stay high babe
But
U r never the one who knows
Its only few inches
Down here on this burning neck

কুলাউড়ায় জুন ২০১৯

আমি জানতাম সেই গাঢ় অন্ধকারে ছিল চিরসবুজ বন

সুবিশাল বিস্তীর্ণ প্রতিরক্ষা বাঁধের মতো

ঘিরেছিল আমাদের স্পর্শকাতর অস্তিত্বগুলোকে

ডেকেছিল গহিনে তার

আমাকে তোমাকে আমাদের

আমি বসেছিলাম ঠায় ভাবলেশহীন মুখে

মনে মনে ভেবেছিলাম

কী অপরূপ এই অন্ধকার

কী নির্মল এই তারাদের আকাশ

তবু কেন বুক ভেঙ্গে যায়?

যে ছিল উঠোনে বৃষ্টির প্রতিক্ষায়

আমি তার কোঁকড়ানো চুলে

দেখেছিলাম সহস্রাব্দের দ্বিধা

এত দূর পাড়ি দিয়েও সে

জীবনকে ছুঁড়ে দিতে পারেনি সময়ের স্রোতে

জোনাকিরা তার অভিমান বয়ে নিয়ে নিয়ে

চলে যাচ্ছিল অনেক দূরে

এখানে পাতার গন্ধরা মিশেছিল মাটিতে

মিশেছিল হাওয়ায়

পোকাদের একান্ত বসতিতে আমরা ছিলাম

অচেনা আগন্তুক

আর যে হয়েছিল একা তার নিঃশ্বাস ভারী হয়ে

পড়েছিল এখানে ওখানে

পাহাড়ি রাস্তায় সে খুঁজে ফিরেছিল সত্যকে

খুঁজে ফিরেছিল অজানা ভবিষ্যৎ

জীবনকে চেয়েছিল বড় সাধারণভাবে

তবু সময়কে যুঝতে পারেনি তার হৃদয়ের উদারতা

ওইখানে যত দূর চোখ গিয়েছিল

যত দূর হেঁটে হেঁটে গিয়েছিলাম আমরা

অবারিত চা বাগান আর রাবার বনের পথ ধরে

আমরাও মিশেছিলাম ছোট ছোট

পাতাদের যন্ত্রণায় দীর্ঘশ্বাসে

আমরাও বুঝেছিলাম লুকিয়ে থাকা পাখিদের সংকেত

চোরকাঁটা বুকে নিয়ে এসেছিলাম ফিরে

এক আকাশ থেকে আরেক আকাশের নিচে

কিছু সত্য কিছু উপকথা কিছু স্মৃতিতে

আমাদের হাসি আমাদের মজা আমাদের গ্লানি

চিরে দিয়েছিল নিঃস্তব্ধতা অন্ধকার আর সময়কে তবুও অবশেষে

ঊষর

মনের গোপন সে কথাটি
মনের অতলেই থাকে দিন রাত
যা থাকে চোখের পাতার নিচে
বর্ণিত হবার নয় কোনো চিন্তায়
রাগ বিরাগ অনুরাগ...
অভিমান অভিযোগ নয় কোনো
যখন শহর পুড়ে যায় দুর্দশায়
যখন স্তূপিকৃত হয় জীবন প্রবল ক্লান্তিতে
যখন এদেশ এমানুষ এসময় আমার নয়
তবুও উড়ে যেতে পারি না
কোনো বিষাক্ত অবাঞ্ছিত ধুলার মতো
তবুও হাত রাখি করি আলিঙ্গন
এবুকে নিষ্ঠুর পাথর চেপে রেখে
যেখানে ঈশ্বর নেই নেই পিতা নেই প্রেমিক
রাতের আলোকে মনে হয় একমাত্র সহচর
আমাকে বোলো না কোনো সান্ত্বনাবাণী
ছুঁয়ে দিও না ভুলেও
এভাবেই জেগে থেকে থেকে
চোখদুটো পাথর হবে একদিন
ভাস্কর্য হয়ে যাব আমিও

Back to the city

Back to the city again
The city that never understood me
The city that never healed my wounds
Where I lost my love and screamed
But I come back again and again
And I look at strangely
Through the warm vision of Alkananda...

Feeling

I may live for a moment even
After, I may leave
I am the kinky virtue of a time
Count or not
I am the truth
That you look for that you thrive
U can recall or u may not
I will be hung as a supreme lie
But I am the illusion
That you live for
That you go through
Love or hate till the day you die

যেদিন যুদ্ধ থেমে যাবে [The day when this war will be ended]

একদিন যুদ্ধও থেমে যাবে জেনো

সবকিছুরই তো একটা শেষ আছে

জানালায়, ছাদে, বারান্দায়

ভয়হীন পায়রারা আদুরে কাকলিতে

তোমাকে করবে সম্ভাষণ

মানুষের কর্মযজ্ঞ ছিনিয়ে আনবে

অর্থনৈতিক অগ্রগতি

সমাজও পাল্টে যাবে হয়ত

যেমনটা তুমি চিরকাল চেয়েছ

নিষ্কলঙ্ক উদ্যান হতে

বয়ে আসবে নির্মল সুগন্ধী পবন

তোমার রক্তাক্ত হৃদয়

শীতল হবে প্রিয়তম সংগীতের মূর্ছনায়

আরামকেদারায় গা এলিয়ে

ভদকার গ্লাস হাতে ভাববে

গৌরবময় যুদ্ধের দিনগুলি

আর মনে পড়বে কারো এক মুখ

পাপী নিষ্ঠুর সময়ের নির্যাস নিয়ে

সে একদিন গোলাপ ফোটাতে চেয়েছিল

  

One day this war will be ended too

Obviously everything has a dissolution you know

On the window, on the roof, in the balcony

Fearless pigeons

Will greet you with darling mumbles

People’s interminable hard work will bring

Economic development  

May be the society will revolt too

The way you wanted it to be all your life

From the upright grove

Pure and perfumed breeze will come

Your bleeded heart

Will be cooled down with the dearest melodies

Sitting on a cozy divan

Holding a glass of vodka you will be thinking

About those glorious days of war

And you will reminisce someone’s face

With the gist of a sinful and brutal time

One day she wanted to bloom a rose

Hope

You are an old depressed man, Hope,
Cuddling with a pillow at the corner in my bed under the thin quilt,
Flowery stitched by my mom by her used monocolored saries 
Long time ago.
At midnight when thermostat goes down slightly
I open my eyes almost blindly
I feel you are there still like always
"Again old you are"
I hold a grudge down my throat
I over hear your thinking that you are going for fishing next morning
I know it would be the old fisherman's story again
That I used to ignore and get disgusted about
But it's important to decide whether I will share the quilt or not...hush...
Hope, you are an old depressed man.

Delusion

Who can tell
Why this has happened to me
Why I am lying on a bed of lie
Why there r shadows around
Whimsical and scattered
Why I am melting in a vase
Why I can't hold a hand for longer

I was here after and after
Even after the death of my soul
Outside
it is summer
It is rain
It is winter
It is spring
Flowers are blooming for me
I can hear them blooming
I can smell them
From my grave

I started too early
I walked long way down the streets in this very city
The lies chased me first then I chased them
When I was joyful
When I was numb
When I was loved and even
when I was dumped
Into my grave into this city

I was working on my desk
My breaths were stuck up in my throat
I was running to home
Yes I couldn't hold my tears
When I reached home I screamed in the shower
It's my tiny little story in this beloved city

Out there
It was party
It was me I saw
Playing and singing a song
I saw
People traffic lights puzzles
In between
I just wanted to sing a song that says "I love you"

Fire on a Needle

Fire on a needle
Can melt you down to a liquor on a little silver foil
Then set you up to the air my friend
You will be inhaled by yourself
You can be drawn before you clean
It's all your consciousness
Awake beneath your misfit presence
By all means
All the small things
You can sense now
You do care for a small thing now dear friend
And happy to chase after rest of your life 
Behind a little fire on a needle

Obsession

What about our dreams honey?
What about all our promises?
What about our plans baby?
What about all our fantasies?

You said...

"Forget them forget them forget them
It's not a good time
Don't freak me out
freak me out
don't don't don't
Just leave and let live a life"

You gave up and get over honey?
It's what?
Your reality or a meer pride?
I don't know what to do
How to deal with it baby
I wish you to take me only
with you on the other side

Little Toes (For Nusrat Jahan Rafi)

I saw her soft little toes after white bandages

Miles of bandages
Miles of burnt skin flash bones veins organs
Miles of souls abuses tears screams
I saw
So I decided to stay awake
So I should stay awake
I don't sleep
I can't sleep
I should keep my eyes stretched
I don't sleep
I shouldn't sleep
My eyes are getting flashed
My eyes are getting stabbed
My eyes will be bleeding
But I shouldn't close them
No I shouldn't shut them down
I watch their souls
I hear them screaming
In the air
All in the air
They are running down from sky high
Oh my poor soul
My soul comes down from sky high too
We drag the sky down to the little grass tips
We should drag the sky down to her little toes
Oh little toes
Soft like my little sister's demanding words
They were to walk around
They were to move round the world
They were to dance like happy birds
They were to touch the morning dews on grasses first

Nusrat Jahan Rafi on the bed of Burn Unit
of Dhaka Medical College

But they ran for justice
They ran for dignity
they ran to the rooftop to save some loved one
They stood for her respect
Oh little toes
Calls the sky to fall tonight
You can't stop it
No one can stop it.

Blue is the color of my soul dragging into

When you made me blue so blue
I hide my glances from you for instance
I felt an ocean of pain deep inside
My love turned blue like an endless time
I will not regret
I will carry my love till the end of the endless time
Blue is always my favorite color
I believed that blue is the color of love

When u said "Goodbye"
I took my fingers away from your forehead
I was about to touch
I departed so far with your well wishes
I will not regret
I will stay far away till the end of this tiny life
What's the difference
I always believed that distance doesn't matter

You never understood what I said
What I whispered
What I was about to verse
When you were seemed to be so close to my soul
When you were in black from top to toe
When you were struggling
When you were hopeful
When you got over and moved on...
My world turned black so black like a moonless night
I will not regret
Black is always my color of charm

It's windy outside
Brings dust leaves smells rains through the windshield to my eyes
Someday you were walking in the rain by the street
Alone
You forgot today what was the emptiness you had that day
I wished to be with you
I don't regret
I couldn't bring you some fresh air that day
My words my silence couldn't heal ur wounds
But I truly wished to be with you

I never learnt the words that you could understand
Rather I embraced silence
I never made a song that you could love
I been always drugged into my sad songs
I never knew the tricks so that you could fall into
So I choose the distance of a universe
It's not your wish or it's not your comfort
Even not those of mine
Sometimes distance evidences an immortal love