Poop💩Talk

Couple of years ago one of my friend (m confused though, whether he still holds there) said "...rather think bout ourselves, only, this is so ME n this is so U... what we can say bout life? life is life..." He is not a native, lives across thousads of miles. All I know bout him that he wanted something new, some charm of craziness, profound independence, state of peace, a beginning, skin n bone, may be a little tushy... even a newborn... would he be convinced to remain only a friend? ... um... NAH! 

Motivational speaking has exceeded the fames of preaching for years, though I see vice versa on n on. During my routine  drainy days I do feel hopeful sometimes but most oftenly my inner demons whisper to me to see through eyes n peel some skin. Every good speaker in this world struggles with their own insecurities worthfully. During every performance in my life, on or off script n on or off stage, my knee-heads worked much more. N everytime I asked to myself afterwards what's the meaning of all these? What we think will give a meaning to our life if turns meaningless then whats actually the point of existence?

My mom tried hard to decorate me with her desired props, dialogues, actions n thoughts. Every parent do so willingly or unwillingly... all fall in a systematic superstructure, n so I dont see any practical significant difference by the way.  The fact is that when I find every prop, dialogue, action, thought n even existential  idea disrespectful, vague n meaningless, my mom cries out to dear lord loud for her misery coz she finds  giving birth or motherhood so meaningless n full of suffering. Our parents eventually get desperate to be perfect to sell their built-in idea, in a sense of consevation, I m not against this. But its heartbreaking to lose a loving one behind a priest or an extremist in any way.

Every typical family is somehow eagerly turns into a homogeneous nercissistic venture. Religious value system copes like a pro tool with it. When they say bout  'the bright side' then my little head decodes it 'the light side'... or may be 'the shallow side'. 

M not a nihilist in a whole but human being is a very slow progressing species, I must say, unfortunately. N I m one of the super slow one... keeping wandering n questioning n over thinking n draining my youthful life without even noticing, unambitiously... pointlessly...